Borborygmus

Just so you know, I like the fact that my pants are green and emanate this odiferous, mustiness that very much sums up my personality.

Perhaps you would like to join me in my boudoir. It is not as difficult as it looks. Just strap yourself up with my custom super strong Velcro body patch and throw yourself onto the ceiling. It is spacious up here. And you get a nice view while you are awake. Also, the joy of blood rushing to your head is something quite inexplicably exhilarating.In the morning, try my special cereal with herbed brie and bacon. It is something quite delectable. Smell your armpits after you run. Or, hell, smell mine. I’ll smell yours if you smell mine. In the evening, we’ll settle down to my favorite Friday activity. Have you tried snorting wasabi? Fuck cocaine. See. It’s green. Draw a smiley face on my butt. Please, oh please would you ? Catch someone giving head in an office before I do and I’ll autograph your underwear. Pole dance on a subway but remember, eighteen and above my darling. Be respectful. Let’s take a walk to Central Park now. You flirt with the squirrels and I’ll try and lay one of the pigeons. If there is no action, we’ll go by crumb/nut count. Follow me to the junkyard, and we will look for the most useless thing there. I love useless things. They make me feel better about myself. Do you have OCD? How unfortunate. One day you must try it out. It is. Comforting. Backwards speak now will I. !It love I, much so people irritates it. Slap on sunscreen and let us go to the frozen section of the supermarket.
Let us find beauty in this world. Let us fall in love again. Let us smoke a cigarette and watch the vertiginous swirls merge with the purplish sky. Let us sit and enjoy a moment’s breath, the rising and falling of the diaphragm, the expiration of wonder. Let us cry again. Let us laugh again, but this time, let us laugh because our hearts our tickled, not our minds.
I am Borborygmus, the supposed gaseous emissions inside your intestines. You wrap your arms around your stomach, trying to suppress me, suppress my calls, my stentorian voice. You speak louder, you exaggerate your ahems.
I was meant to be released. Your are hungry. Let me out and I will satisfy you.
I am borborygmus.